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A quandary

So lately I've really been thinking about what I plan to do with my life. It's always come down to me wanting to do something for art and I've always been what I wanted to do, well not really at first I wanted to be a veterinarian but that didn't seem like something that would work well for me. The problem doesn't come down to whether or not I still like art, I love art but I live in Delaware. Now I don't know if you know this, but Delaware isn't exactly the creative hub of the world or even the United States. Or hell even this area alone just the East Coast. Then it comes down to my other love, computers. I've always really wanted to do something with computers and back in the day we Neopets come out I really enjoyed working with HTML CSS and making things look as pretty as possible. A lot of me kind of attributes that to the art side but on a more technical level. So my predicament comes down to that I've been thinking about going back to school for computer programming and then another problem comes in.. I really want to move out! But I know that if I try to go back to school I won't be able to do that for a very long time, and by very long time I mean for at least two years. While that may not be a long time I really want to move out. I've always been the kid that likes to decorate their room and make things look, like I said as pretty as possible. And over the years I've gotten a lot of stuff which is making this incredibly difficult on my tiny little room... And again my room isn't tiny I live in a very nice size house and my room is actually quite large, but because I've gotten so many things that are not necessarily a necessity, but things that I really enjoy having in my life it's really hard to try and settle down into just the one room for me. Which is why want to move out. And I know that I could always get rid of some stuff for trying to downsize but I don't see where I have the room to do that. The only thing I have in my room are bookshelves a dresser, And my desk. It's certainly a first world problem but that's what's been on my mind lately so I guess it all comes down to what I'm going to end up doing...

I did however just leave a message for the University of Delaware registrar and try and see if my credits for my previous degree would transfer over, I don't know what the rules are on that, so I'd like to find out.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


So tonight

Was actually really fun! I had a lot of fun just running around and shouting at people, seeing old friends and getting better acquainted with acquaintances and all that. Made something of an ass out of myself when I cursed into a megaphone with children in the room.. That sure was a feel good moment. But hopefully I didn't.. Upset everyone too bad, I know I won't be manning that for a long while.

I've gotta give a shout out to Reaux as well for allowing us her space and to be assholes and freeloaders

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Figure drawing

So Today I went to figure drawing for the first time in a very long time, and well I don't have too much to share yet since they're in my sketchbook and I lost my scanner cable! Either way though it was interesting!

The seats were uncomfortable, the poses were boring, the model was pushy and demanding, and no one said a word except for me. Just like college all over again! Yet in that same token, I'm glad I went, it was a lot of fun seeing the figure again like that and being able to get that 3d representation of the form I try to capture when I draw. Albiet I do it more stylistically, but like they say; you need to be able to know the foundations before you can branch into your own proportions and styles 'effectively' not to say that it can't be done..but it certainly helps. It's only twice a month but really that's a lot better than the..2 year lag since last time I had done it when I was still in school so I really shouldn't be complaining, not to mention it's only $10 a month for 4 hours of draw time!

I think I would like to suggest some light music though because that ish was unbearable. So silent. I might bring my own chair next time, maybe one of those portable lawn chairs!
So let's talk shit. I hate my job with a passion that can only be described as religious. 

Having to go into work tomorrow is the current bane of my existence and I have no idea how I can, or should go about getting out of it. I don't make any money on the commission side of things, which is I'll accept as part of my fault since I don't work and post artwork as much as I should for someone who wants to get into that field. Granted, but I don't think that my job in the meanwhile should be the kind of thing wherein any slight break or reprieve is like receiving the goose that lays the golden eggs, and having to wake up in the morning is a drudgery worse than being shat on by 4 horses fed nothing but bran muffins and prune juice. Fuck that is disgusting.

I made a LinkedIn profile and I have no idea how to navigate that labyrinth of a social network. Yes, I'm a bill collector right now LinkedIn, stop giving me fucking Bill Collecting recommendations. Where's the option to decide that THIS is what I want my recommendations to be, Art things, Computer related things. I'd kill for the chance to learn a basic coding language to do things for the job. Fuck, I'll even stay at my current employer if I don't have to do this anymore.

This is going to have to be cut off early since I'm tired as hell, but...fuck man. I don't even know what I'm going to do about this.

Anyone have any job recommendations?


I really need to get back in the game with this kind of thing. I want to be a blogger deep down, I love the idea of talking to people but I just don't do it. Tumblr is nice but, it's not as intimate as I find LJ to be in theory. I think I'm going to add this to my challenges. Starting next week I'll be starting the 30 day drawing challenge and cross posting to Tumblr, at that time I'll also be posting here about shitty things that happen in my day and whatever else.

To start I'll tell you guys a crappy joke I heard today.

Why did the Scarecrow get an award?

Because he was Out Standing in his field.

My Enneagram: 5, The Observer

 "I need to understand the world"


Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.


How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.

• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.

• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.

• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.

• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.

• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.

• don't come on like a bulldozer.

• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.


What I Like About Being a FIVE

• standing back and viewing life objectively

• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects

• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure

• not being caught up in material possessions and status

• being calm in a crisis


What's Hard About Being a FIVE

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world

• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all

• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be

• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally


FIVEs as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on

• have a few special friends rather than many

• are very bright and curious and do well in school

• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers

• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information

• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid

• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict

• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected


FIVEs as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted

• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding

• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate

• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

 What's that?? Job interview went great today? Ya don't say!

So yeah, long time no nothing the...what three people that read me? Whatever anyway moving on.

Today I had my job itnerview with (_______), I would say who but I'm not sure what their stance on blogging is, I know my previous employers did not like it but it's cool, if you want to know I'll tell you on AIM or something like that. Back on track though, I did have the interview and got a few hearty chortles out of my interviewer. I like to judge the quality of an interview based on if I can make the person comfortable enough to laugh along with my terrible jokes, and she did laugh quite a bit. She's also a mommy to be, not important but I thought it was worth mentioning. 

Anyway, she said that she does think I'd be a good fit for the position and I should hear in the morning after the background check and everything like that that I've been officially offered the position that starts on June 6th I believe.
 As usual when you wake up to your slightly dusty room, the first thing you notice is how luxurious that snooze button on your alarm seems to be, compelled you'll press it like you do every morning. Finally waking up in a haze you'll sit up in your bed, frowning at the cold and yawning like a lion. You'll put on whatever clothes that are the closest, sniffing to check if it would be rude to wear them outdoors, and retreating to your closet after you've decided that it's probably time to do some laundry, just another part of the morning ritual. You'll dress to make sure it looks like you don't care, and you'll hear it said about you as you pass, “Look at that fucking hipster,” or “I think he's a stoner” are phrases you'll be used to, even though you don't exactly hear them. The people around you are like people on a train, you can hear them talking, and even what they're saying about you but it's not something that sticks with you, you've always been too busy tracing the lines in the scenery and smiling when you spot an arrangement that happens to resemble our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, maybe you'll doodle it in your self-bound moleskin sketchbook.
You'll have to have some sort of flaw, so you pick something that isn't really expected, but to you it's just something that made your childhood that more fun. So you'll always had a gameboy or one of it's successors to the throne in your pocket. Probably something juvenile like Pokemon or Monster Rancher, and you've completed the compendium in both. One of the few things you should open up and talk to strangers about.
When you actually sit down to draw it's either for far too long, or you just sit there staring at the blank pages, occasionally putting down lines that don't make sense, not even to you, if you're lucky something that makes you smile might actually take form. But don't bet on it.
When sipping your home brewed coffee, bought at a local trade shop from a ceramic mug that you'd made yourself and glazed in specific earthen tones, no unnecessary chemicals you'll scratch at your trimmed 'hipster' beard and wonder how you got to be in the Art Department anyway. When you're finished you'll probably realize that it's just because everyone dresses the same, and you like the smell of wood chips.


 Hnnn, you know I update this thing pretty regularly (at least as far as my blogging habits go), and yet I only have 2 people watching, I think that I'm really just enjoying ranting and typing really fast. Either way though, thanks for paying attention girls lol

Furbowl 23

 I don't usually enjoy Furbowl's, it's common knowledge that me and them do not get along. However I like the community, I just more often than not either don't feel like I fit in and fill my head with the fact that I won't fit in and don't do anything about it (cycle of my life) or I've heard something bad about a number of them and try to avoid them out of fear of having to deal with such things, I really like my drama free life, I really really do. The former problem (me being generally hateful/having the self-esteem of a gnat) is the larger one however, I'll end up making excuses about how they're just terrible people and whatever which really isn't fair for them, because they're probably really nice people. It makes ME feel better though if I think they're the problem, even though yes. I know I'm the problem here.

But that's not what I'm hear to talk about this time, if I really wanted to rant about that I could do it when I'm not sleepy. This was one of the few furbowls where I genuinely enjoyed myself though. Oh what I was going to say earlier, I don't really like furbowls, but I like the community. I operate under the premise that something can only get so bad, like art, the more you practice the better you get. Same with furbowl, the more I go, even though I'm not 'good at them', if I practice I'll get better. Yes, I still complain about furbowls, but I've stuck it out for 20 odd meets, and I've gotten better, I have a handful of people I can talk with, and I want to get more. That's why I keep going, I can't make friends with them if I avoid them. While I may not know many people, if I make it a point to at least try and meet one person, or strengthen a friendsihp with someone else, eventually they'll know someone, I'll want to talk with them, and then its a conversation of 3, if I move to another person then I've got a circle of 5, and it continues on. That's why I keep going but whatever. I'm tired, and rambling.

First really really enjoyable furbowl though. I can't say I have any complaints.